Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A Big Pet Peeve of Mine

Now that I'm private I feel a little more freedom to write about topics that I might not when public.
One of them is a huge pet peeve of mine and that is:
 Parents who complain about their kids.
(especially in front of them)

I know that I have not hit the terrible 2's or 3's or 4's or whatever, but this is still something I'm pretty passionate about giving what it took us to even have Shelby.

It's something that totally rubbed me the wrong way when trying to conceive and even to this day.
It's just rude, selfish and inappropriate.
I understand there are hard times but in my opinion parents should talk about these things between themselves instead of making comments such as:

"I can't wait to get away from my kids."

"Oh, you have a 9-month old, I bet you couldn't WAIT to get out of the house!!"
(this was said to me at a blogger event and I was quick to put them in their place)

"Why did we have kids again?"
(then trying to laugh about it)

The worst comment ever made to me and Brad?
(And, when we were in the midst of crazy fertility treatments. And, it was made in front of the children who were old enough to understand.)
"I can't wait for you guys to have kids, so your life can be as miserable as mine."
I know parenting is hard but when we were trying to get pregnant I SWORE to myself that I WOULD NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT MY CHILD IF WE WERE TO EVER HAVE ONE!

That is still my story and I'm sticking to it.

Maybe I'm different???
Am I??
Is it because what we went through?
Brad has never complained once and I don't ever see him complaining.
We take our jobs as parents as the best and most ultimate job we could ever be blessed with.
We treasure our time with her but appreciate our time away too, but I don't go around chanting to everyone that we're free?
We miss her but at the same time I know it's important for our marriage to have time for just the two of us.
When we were trying to conceive and even now I question parents that complain about their children.
It's not judging it's just my personal question.

"Why did they even have kids?"
"Did they have them too early in life to appreciate them?"



Kate @ Daffodils said...

Parenting is the hardest job around, but I am forever grateful for it. I am with you!

donatelli98 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
donna said...

Agree with you! Unfortunately, one of our circle of friend is very bitter at the fact that she stays home with 2 kids everyday. Such a turn off! I know some people who would love to have the chance to stay home with their kids...Needless to say, my interaction with her is definitely minimal nowadays.

Mandy said...

Good for you! Seems like a very reasonable, sane approach to me, right?

starnes family said...

I want to believe that parents who complain like this are trying to make light of a difficult situation. But, their children who hear it will never understand that.

A similar pet peeve of mine: when parents constantly talk about 'when school starts' during summer break. My mother did this constantly and I always felt like a burden when I wasn't in school. Like she couldn't wait to get rid of us. I'm careful to remember that summer is a time for kids to let loose. Feeling like a bother to their parents inhibits that.

Good post!

love jenny xoxo said...

I'm TOTALLY with you! That drove me crazy when I was pregnant, I mostly got the stupid sleep comments - you know the "well you better sleep now, haha" or the complaints followed by "but it's the best thing ever!"

I told my husband before we had Ronan how annoying it was and how we are never doing that. And so far so good! I think it will be easy to stick with. However, it depends on the context - if my friend was truly struggling with something like being exhausted I would be willing to listen. But I know what you are referring to, the people who always are saying it in a joking way, very annoying and not funny.



Sunshine In The City said...

I feel the same way!!!

eas said...

I am with you. I had the same struggles you did with getting pregnant and I try to remember that everyday with them is a blessing.

Sometimes they drive me crazy and I am plum worn out but it's all worth it just to give them kisses and laugh with them.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe someone told you and your husband that! Especially if the child is old enough to hear/understand what their parents are saying - it's so sad. I hate it when people talk bad about their loved ones - whether or not they are in a difficult situation. If you really have someone's best interest at heart, it doesn't matter how old they are, it's my opinion that you should always be encouraging and kind - especially when talking to others. Good for you for deciding to do that!

Nikki said...

My husband and I don't have children yet, but I'm right there with you. I will never do that! One of my girlfriends had her second baby in June and she and her husband made the decision that she would stay home with the kids. All she does all day is update her facebook status with how awful her 3-year old daughter is, how she is NEVER having another baby, etc. It makes me feel so bad for her babies!

Monica said...

I 110% agree with you! I adore my time with Lyla and would never give any of it up. Maybe it's because we lost 2 pregnancies before, or maybe it's because she's a perfect angel, but I've never once complained about being a parent. I just feel lucky and blessed to have her.

If the shoe FITZ said...

I say it...but very tongue and cheek. I can only imagine what it would be like to hear that when you were going through all your troubles.

But when I've had a really rough day with the boys and I am meeting friends for dinner...I have definitely said "I'm free!!". As in "I'm free to have a glass of wine without someone pulling on me, crying etc."

Not b/c I don't enjoy being their mom, or I resent them. Just that it's a hard job and I am "free" for just a couple of hours.

If that makes sense.

P.S. I was having issues commenting for a while. Hopefully, it works this time. Love reading about little Shelby!