Thursday, January 9, 2014

And, so it begins..

Well, we officially have a toddler.
A toddler who is testing us.
It's started a few weeks back but more and more she's working to get a reaction.
If she didn't do this we would know that something might be wrong with her.
Her favorite things to do right now in the 'testing' department?
* Tantrums. The most recent was at the mall when she didn't want to get back in the stroller.
She fell to the floor and cried and kicked around.
They say she does this at school time to time.
We don't make a big deal out of it.
We wrangled her back into the stroller and just let her cry it out.
Embarassing? Yes, but Brad and I REFUSE to let her win.
Let's all face it, if you give in when they do that sort of thing, you're screwed.
* Drop her sippy cup from her high chair right after you hand it to her(looking at us the whole time to get a reaction)
* Scream(I'm not down with kids screaming in the house, I didn't grow up being allowed to do that and I'm not going to stand for it)
* At times biting me(not brad for some reason, and she bite a kid at school)
Of course, there are other small things but those are the main things.
This isn't major stuff but we recognize it.
She's a great little girl, but she's growing up and learning her way.
Brad and I are both trying to approach things reasonably and the best way possible for the best outcome.
Our speech pathologist friend told us to ignore her when she drops her cup or screams.
That seems to be working somewhat versus scolding her.
 Last night she bite me again.
It's been several weeks since she bite me last time.
I told her no very sternly and she started laughing and thought I was playing.
I decided to put her in time out.
I wanted to let her know that it is not acceptable to do that and I will not play with her when she behaves that way.
She cried and cried and tried to get up.
Brad went over and stood in front of her and told her no to stay seated.
Honestly, it was hard not to laugh but I wanted her to know I was serious.
I didn't console her or go over there, we both just let her sit.
Did she get the message?
I don't know.
Let's hope she's figuring it out.
Brad and I are both trying to raise a daughter who is sweet, respectful towards others, and well behaved.
I don't want her to be that kid that everyone whispers under their breath.
'Oh....great.... Shelby is coming over...'
I can remember kids like that when growing up and I know kids like that now.
I will do everything in my power for her not to be that kid.
Here's to learning the ropes of parenting.
Feel free to give advice!


donna said...

You are doing a great job. The first step, is being committed to raising them right. It's very tempting to just "let it go", coz it really can drain your energy. The husband and I always remind our self that it is our job to raise them right.

The good and bad days of parenting!

Fran @ Sassy Southern Bride said...

I laughed when I saw Shelby in time out on Instagram last night. That little face!

Mandy said...

Oh man, good luck!! I will say, that pic of her in timeout is pretty adorable though ;)

donatelli98 said...

Good for you - it is so hard! I remember those days ... We have our own six year old version with Sophia lately. My big rule is Dennis and I are in charge and not her. She will follow our rules of be punished. It is so hard through! I even texted Dennis exasperated this morning ... Shelby will be a respectful child, I have no doubt. There is nothing more rewarding than hearing people tell you how sweet and respectful your child is when they aren't around you!!

Monica said...

Oh that sweet little Shelby! Lyla went through the biting thing too at that age. Bit a kid at school and bit me and Bobby both. I popped her little bottom for it and she never did it again. Many don't believe in spanking, but I was spanked and I turned out well, so there has to be something to it! Either way, children need to be disciplined in some form. That's what's wrong with kids today.

Shelby is going to be just fine because she has two great parents who are on the same page. That's all that matters. I think kids crave discipline and they test the waters to find out what they can and can't get away with. Nip it in the bud now and she'll turn out great!

starnes family said...

I will never forget.....around this time frame......watching Lainey scream her pretty little head off in a tantrum. Blake was holding her and she just kept screaming. We both looked at each other and knew this was different.....a little girl tantrum is a whole new world compared to our boys. Good luck!

Annie said...

Oh my goodness, she looks so pitiful in time out! But I agree, it's important to set the standards now!

Ashley said...

Oh, its so fun! hahahaha
Anika's first out in public tantrum was about SHOES! She wanted sparkly shoes. ha. Seriously, if she didn't have such a fit about them, maybe I would have gotten them! Right now one of her things to try to get a reaction out of me is, "Mama, I don't love you anymore" and when I don't respond to that "Mama, Leni doesn't love you either" I know she only says this because she wants a reaction from me. She used to tell me 5000 times a day she loved I am a big Meanie I guess.

Allena said...

Being aware and sticking with it are the most important parts I think (says the mom of a kid with sensory processing disorder issues so we probably have 'that kid' to some moms). Brent and I work so hard to be consistent and not stand for the bad behavior. Drew, so far, only has a fit over getting in her car seat. We just tell her repeatedly 'you need to sit in your seat' until she gives in. Sometimes bawling like I killed her puppy...but she sits!

Kate @ Daffodils said...

O man, this is so tough! The best thing is, you recognize that her actions are deliberate and are working to correct it (I think there are a lot of parents in our generation who 'blame' outside reasons for their child misbehaving instead of realizing that it is a natural part of growing up). Time our works in this house, and sometime ignoring is all we can do too. Good luck, you are great parents!